Happy 37 months to John & I :)

A couple weeks ago during 1st period, a girl sitting by me had a poster and cupcakes on her desk; my friend came into class and read the top of the poster aloud, “Happy 13 months!” I smiled, said “Aww”, and then out of nowhere told him, “Wow.. and to think mine is 36 months…” his jaw dropped before he commented, “WOW that is a long time!” 

It really is. I don’t often think about just how long 3 years is, especially with one person. And in truth, it’s actually been 4 years of knowing John. It blows my mind when I really sit down to think about it—I’ve dedicated 4 years of my life to loving and caring for a single person. So many of my decisions have included him or have been influenced by him, and I’m sure that many will despite me finally doing things on my own and for myself. I have grown physically, mentally, spiritually, and definitely emotionally because of this relationship—and no doubt for the better. Despite the endless moments of happiness we’ve shared, I know that it took weeks, sometimes months to get past rough times with each other, and I know that I’ve been through hell and back for the both of us. And I definitely know that I got it good when I (unconsciously and guiltily) compare us to others I know that have a harder struggle to get past. But that doesn’t make our struggles any less or more important. I think it’s what made us—and I think that part of the reason why we don’t fight very much anymore and why we forgive each other for the little things frequently is because we’ve learned a great deal from the petty fights to the shit-just-got-real type of fights. 

As I sit here, thinking about everything we’ve accomplished in all types of ways, my heart does swell a little with a multitude of feelings. A lot has changed since the night I met him, the month of talking, the day he asked me to be his girlfriend, and the star-filled night he told me he loved me—but what we have now is 100x better than what we had then because of everything we’ve gone through. And whenever I do take the time to just really understand how grateful I am, I am moved by how much love that man has given to me in the years we’ve been together. 

Happy 37, one and only. 

Being able to notice the exact the same things and feel the exact same way and say the exact same things. It’s so weird, but lately I’ve noticed that we’ve been doing this a lot. It creeps me out a bit to know we’re so similar, but it makes me smile to know we’re so alike… sometimes. Haha.

This reminds me of a time that John dropped me home, and we were at a stoplight, just looking our own ways. The song we were listening to ended, and next thing we hear is Jessica’s iPod/iPhone blasting some hella ghetto song, and he & I look at each other like WTF LOL and he just shrugs at me. Hahahaha